So you say you like candy canes
All the ladies do
Candy canes were meant for sucking
So don't you think about trying to chew
How about a little egg-nog
I got a home-made recipe
You're gonna get love-drunk on my egg-nog
Even though it's alcohol-free
I'm gonna stuff your stocking this year
Gonna fill it up nice and tight
Gonna feel so good when I slide my gifts into it tonight
I'm gonna stuff your stocking this year
Gonna fill it up with all I got
Knick-knacks and candy's gonna hit your stocking G-spot
I know you like your toys, girl
I got toys to fulfill your needs
The kind that only use double-D batteries
And run at variable speeds
Gonna stuff it with an iPhone
All I ask is some tit-for-tat
If you could memorize the Karma Sutra
Heck, they probably make an app for that
I'm gonna stuff your stocking this year
Gonna fill it to the tippy top
Gonna take it all out and stuff it back in
Take it all out and stuff it back in
You're never gonna want me to stop
I'm gonna stuff your stocking this year
With holiday, love and romance
Just hope that Santa doesn't stuff it
Before I get the chance